Thursday, January 12, 2012

Pizza Boomerang

By Skyler's Dad from Some days it's not worth chewing through the leather straps.

 In honor of Katrocket's return to blogging, I thought I had better get a post up here on Fire That Agency. 

I thought the Japanese made the most craptacular ads out there.  Looks like this jewel from Spain?  Mexico? might give them a run for their money.

It is billed as NSFW, and I was thinking "This is just weird" until the 1:45 mark.

Then, what has been seen cannot be un-seen!

Feast your eyes on how to sell pizza!

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Nothing beats a great local ad!

By Skyler's Dad from Some days it's not worth chewing through the leather straps.

I have always enjoyed a really poorly done local TV ad.  You know the kind I am talking about, usually a used car dealership or pawn shops, or some other soft, visceral underbelly of society.

Well look no further campers, because Sky-Dad has found a few of the worst examples that you will ever set eyes upon.  Come join me in the carnage, and don't forget the bleach for your eyeballs.

Mo Money Taxes Insane Local Commercial - Watch more Funny Videos

I honestly don't know which  scares me more, Mr Green or the Mo Money team.

Now tell me how in the hell that got by the boys in corporate?

EMBED-Worst Strip Club Commercial Ever - Watch more free videos

Nothing says classy like a good crotch bar commercial...

And finally, the cherry on the top of this sundae of crapola, feast your eyes on Shocantelle.

I am calling fake on that one, but I love it anyway.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Off Road Handling Characteristics

We here at Fire That Agency are always happy when sharp-eyed commercial watchers find items that are worthy of submission to our little corner of the world. Such is the case with the always funny Scope, from Scope Tech who found these two examples of fine advertisements.

Nissan and Jeep are two of the leaders in off road vehicles designed for fun when you don't have pavement underneath you. I grew up in the mountains of Colorado and can attest to the importance of good suspension when out doing some serious 4-wheeling.

From the two examples, I think that we can gather that Jeep is trying to make the point that their vehicle is all about fun while Nissan attempts to extol the virtues of their independent front suspension.

I have driven both of these units, and can give you my completely unbiased opinion that while a hard front end can make for a few miles of rugged fun, independent suspension gives a much smother ride over the life of the unit.

See for yourself, first the Jeep:

Now the Nissan:

Thanks again Scope for taking the time out of your buy day to compare and contrast!

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

An homage to idiots

Do you sometimes have problems with the most simple motor control issues? Are you constantly tasting things that cause you to barely control your gag reflex? Do all of your friends recoil in horror at pretty much every single thing you do? Does even your fricking PET hate you?!?!

If you answered yes to any of these questions, then we may have a product for you! See if you recognize yourself in any of these wonderful commercials for products that frankly, I don't know how you have lived so long without owning:

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Old School

by Katrocket from fotosynthesis

Internet banners are rarely featured on Fire That Agency!, but hey, I rarely contribute to this blog that I've neglected for so very long, so it's a fitting occasion for a comeback.

I saw this online ad last week and it compelled me to return here and ask you just WHAT THE FUCK DOES THE FRIGHTENED OLD MAN HAVE TO DO WITH A SCHOOL LOAN?!

Oh Agency, you are so fucking fired.

I understand that if I earn less than $45,000 a year, I'm totally going to need a grant to go back to school. I'm not sure how clicking on my state will help, but where you really lose me is with the photo.

What exactly is going on here? Grandpa's not going to the bathroom on his own, so I doubt he's up for college. So is this the guy who's granting money to qualified people? Do I have to rob this scared little man for tuition?!

Poor fella doesn't look well at all. Maybe he's just as confused as I am? "How the hell did my photo end up on the innerwebs? Goddamn kids!"

I guess on some level this works because they definitely got my attention. They also got me to come out of semi-retirement to tell the rest of you about it.

Goddamn kids.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Racist bad is really bad

By Skylers Dad from Some days it's not worth chewing through the leather straps.

Welcome back boys and girls to this little corner of the world where we like to point out what may be advertisements that didn't exactly hit the mark.

Sometimes what starts as a good idea in Bizarro world just needs to stay in that dimension, and not make it to the airwaves.

Consider the following examples:

Let's try and forgive the sin of cheap-assed wood shutters being used as a "set" that is a confessional, and get to mocking the priest with the shades on. I just tried to visualize my old priest with shades and I swear a lightning bolt hit the tree outside. Moving along...

Gary is one hilarious ass-hat, isn't he? Is there a stereotype he didn't go after? Did I miss something?

Funny Tequilabot Cantina Commercial - Watch more Funny Videos

Sure it's racist and sucks balls, but it really makes me want my very own Tequila-bot!!

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Hire That Agency

By Skylers Dad from Some days it's not worth chewing through the leather straps.

We here at the home office of Fire That Agency are generally in the business of mocking advertising. But today, I want to take a break from that and let you know about something that is really good, something that might just make a difference.

Those who know me are aware that my son Skyler was born 3 months premature, and as a result of a brain hemorrhage, was diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy. Skyler is closing in on his 19th birthday now, and our lives with him have been consumed with the effort of trying to get society to accept him and his disability. It is seldom easy, with most people content to make snap judgments about his abilities and immediately throw up roadblocks.

That is why I was excited to hear from Becky over at The PopEye about this particular ad campaign. It is by a group called "Think Beyond the Label" and it uses humor to make a point about employing workers who have a disability. Typical ads in the past that attempted to do this were public service announcements that depended on the generosity of networks or print media to give them time or space. This is a full on campaign to get the word out, and that is cool!

The ads are quite different than what you would expect, instead of taking the heavy handed and sober tone, they use humor to show that everyone in the workplace is disabled to some extent. Here is a quote from the article:

For instance, in a television commercial, a worker in a wheelchair points out her colleagues who “you could label as ‘different.’ ” Among them are a woman dressed in a nightmare wardrobe of clashing patterns, who is “fashion deficient”; a klutzy young man at the copier, who is “copy incapable”; and a shouting man who suffers from “volume control syndrome.” The punch line of the commercial is that the worker in the wheelchair is different, too: Her skills at a basic office function are so bad that she is labeled “coffee-making impaired.” Print ads introduce employers to a man in a suit whose awkward dance moves make him “rhythm impaired” and an awkward man who is hard to understand because he is “jargon prone.”

The ad with the worker who is rhythm impaired declares: “Just because someone moves a little differently doesn’t mean they can’t help move your business forward. The same goes for people with disabilities.”

The ad with the jargon-spouting worker reads: “Just because someone talks differently doesn’t mean they don’t bring something of value to the conversation. The same goes for people with disabilities.”

Here are some of the still shots from the WSJ article:

I really like the use of the Dymo-style labels across the faces of the people, because in the real world life of somebody with special needs, that is the very first thing that happens. You get a label. The world seems to have a need to assign somebody in a chair, or somebody who doesn't talk the same way as the rest with a label, when in fact everybody could get some type of a label if we wanted.

But like my friend Dan Wilkins over at The Nth Degree always said, "Labels are for jars, not for people".

For more information:

Thursday, January 7, 2010

For Kat

By Skylers Dad from Some days it's not worth chewing through the leather straps.

By now most of you are aware that Kat from RocketRadio has closed up shop to move on to greener pastures. As the owner and general manager of Fire That Agency she was kind enough to invite me to add my distinctive brand of commercial taste (read insanity) to this little corner of the world.

So I thought to myself, Sky-Dad, (I always refer to myself in third person) why not send her off in a manner most associated with bad advertisements and find a great commercial that shows just what we think of her? Great idea I answered myself, or at least one of the voices in my head mumbled some type of agreement... So off I went to the Internettubes in search of the perfect sendoff.

Well, the Google, she is a fickle bitch. When you want to find something that really hits the spot, you get about 20,000 hits of guys getting clobbered in the junk, or adult material, which is quite often the same thing.

So Kat, the best I could come up with is this spot from Cadillac, which is weak, but please accept it in the spirit in which it was intended. Not that you are a pasty old white dude getting a new job, but that you are moving on to a new place in your life, hopefully better, and bringing the rest of us along.

Fair winds and following seas my friend.

Friday, November 20, 2009

Oh Japan, How I love you!

By Skylers Dad from Some days it's not worth chewing through the leather straps.

What would we do without our friends from the land of the "no holds barred" commercials? If you ever had a wacky idea that seemed like it would never fly, I am sure there is an agency in Asia that is more than willing to let their freak flag fly!

Witness the following examples:

Surprising Japanese Egg Toy - Watch more Funny Videos

Crazy Japanese Commercial - Watch more Funny Videos

Uh yeah... Do you think sex sells a bit over there?

But even better is their 21st century special effects when it comes to their cartoon characters on TV! This is the opening for the Japanese version of Spiderman. Of course they have to include some sort of transformer robot thing that has absolutely no connection to Spiderman, but it's all win!

Thursday, October 1, 2009

What the hell were these people thinking?

By Skylers Dad from Some days it's not worth chewing through the leather straps

Hello fans and fanettes, Skylers Dad here with another edition of what in the hell were these people thinking?!? I have been collecting only the very best in advertising for you all to enjoy, that's right, I do the work so you don't have to!! (or some other sort of obnoxious tag line...)

First out of the gate today is this fine entry from The Red House Furniture Store. White people shop there, black people shop there and they get along!! Towards the end they also mention something about expanics also, I am not sure what kind of people they are...

The Red House Furniture Store - Watch more Funny Videos

If you have all the furniture you need, but are missing out on some heavy firepower, drop on over to Don's Guns, where he just loves to rent guns!

Makes me want to shoot a desert eagle, whatever that is...

Finally, check out this winner for Wilkonson's Family Restaurant. Nothing sells the family atmosphere better than metal, lyrics that feature "The Witch's Teat, and missiles shooting down helicopters! Feast you eyes on this, and remember, kids under 3 eat for free.

This ad is so full of awesome and win it should be illegal!