Sunday, February 1, 2009

2009 Superbowl Ads: Doritos 2

by pistols at dawn of save your generation

In this second Doritos ad apparently airing this evening, we learn a lesson thanks to familiar character in the Commedia dell'arte of advertising stereotypes - the 20something Slacker Dude.



As the ad opens, Dude is taunting his roommate's cat with a laser pointer, a poignant metaphor for the endless, Sisyphean tasks that comprise all our lives, hours spent grasping at straws that turn out never to have been there at all, leaving us empty vessels which only process pain into slightly more tolerable pain via a soul-deadening process of hard liquor, drugs, passionless coupling, and snack chips.

Knowing this, and egged on by his angry girlfriend, Dude's roommate taunts Dude similarly - with moving Doritos. Dude then proceeds to chase said Doritos, and numerous pratfalls - allegedly comic ones - ensue.

There is but one problem with this: as a huge fan of Doritos, I can tell you that no huge fan of Doritos can get up off the couch, much less chase a moving bag of Doritos around a room. One of the main reasons fat guys love Doritos is because, unlike women who want "dinner" and "you not to stare at their boobs" and "you to get their consent before filming them doing it with you," Doritos never play hard to get.

Also, taunting a cat is still okay, because cats are dumb, as they lack the single most important aspect of intelligent life: the ability to establish mercantile systems with the end result of enabling its participants to purchase Doritos.

14 comments:

So@24 said...

Laser pointers? Man, this ad really dated itself.

SkylersDad said...

What is this "get their consent" you speak of?

Not in a Doritos world!

i am playing outside said...

do these even count as commercials? pathetic.

Red said...

Cool Ranch Doritos are a fond, childhood slumber-party memory, but I can't remember the last time I've had one. I don't miss them. More for you!

mongoliangirl said...

Pistols, you're going to feel so much better when you just admit chasing laser pointers. I promise.

red said...

Most interesting fact about this commercial? I used to know that chick. Glad to see she's achieved such great Super Bowl commercial heights.

Rassles said...

You know what's even better than making your cat chase a laser pointer thingy?

Having a dog.

Cynnie said...

I would slaughter the smug friends..
then eat the fucking doritos

pistols at dawn said...

SO, I think it was very forward looking for 1998.

SD, agreed. There are no restraining orders in Doritoville.

IAPO, not really. Plus, remote control cars move at like 5mph. Who can't catch that?

Red, some nights, they call me and wonder if you still think about them.

MG, not unless the laser looks like beer.

red, are you still in touch? Could you maybe get me some free Doritos off her?

Rassles, agreed. Although dogs sometimes eat your Doritos, making them a bad choice, too.

Cynnie, no jury in the world would convict you.

The Imaginary Reviewer said...

This ad is so unrealistic. There needs to be another person filming the antics for YouTube.

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

How come no one's clothes flew off when that bitch bit into a Dorito?

It's called continuity, advertising bitches.

BeckEye said...

Maybe it's just me, but the Doritos ads make me actually want to consume LESS Doritos. I mean, come on people, do they really need commercials at all? As Vince would say, these things sell themselves!

pistols at dawn said...

TIR, I'd like to have a series of ads depicting what actually happens when you try these things, too. It'd involve a loooooot of disappointment.

Mjenks, that's easily answered - everyone knows women can't have magical powers.

BeckEye, agreed. It's not like there's ever a moment where I'm not thinking about them anyway. Even during sex.

red said...

We are not still in touch. You'll have to buy your own Doritos. I feel I've failed you...again.