I Hate Applebees

by SO24 from Starting Over at 24

I can understand quirky and unique advertisements, because it makes sense to get their brand stuck in our head, but I fail to comprehend the logic behind getting on our nerves. It's not just a tad irritating, or overly goofy, it is just simply wrong. There is absolutely nothing creative or witty about two morons singing a shrimp-ized version of the Gilligan theme song. And who is giving this idea the thumbs up? Take a moment of your time to imagine the brainstorming session that produced this fucking wild idea.



"So...uhh...gotta come up with something good to play during the NCAA Tourney."
"Well, I was thinking two assholes playing guitars and singing the Gilligan theme song rewritten with lyrics about our shrimp skewers would be a huge hit. We could play it during every break and I really think it'll win 'em over."
"Good fucking call, Johnson"
"I'm also boning your wife."
"You're fired."

If I see this ad one more time I swear to god I will go their restaurant, order one shrimp skewer so that I can quickly eat the shrimp and then plunge the stick directly into the eye of the closest employee. On my escape I would also take care to knock off as much cliché memorabilia as possible.

So, if you are an Applebee's ad executive and happen to be reading this, I suggest you rethink your approach to drumming up business. Making people angry does not lead to success for your restaurant. Your food already sucks as it is, so it probably doesn't help much when you cram shit like this down our throats. Either show a follow-up to this piece that depicts these two schmucks getting ripped apart by tropical shark beasts, or put an end to the misery that any of us with decent taste are undoubtedly experiencing when we are subject to your bad ideas.