Ford F-150: Taking a Man Step to Gay Town

by Pistols at Dawn of save your generation

As discussed yesterday (I could link to it, or you could scroll down, hero), Howie Long and Chevy are here to chew gum and kick ass, and they're all out of chewing gum.



In the second Howie Long Chevy ad that shows that these particular ad execs still have a fourth grade view of male sexuality and gender roles, the masculine Mr. Long is at the lumber yard, loading a palette jack's worth of Large, Heavy Bags Of Concrete into his Silverado.

Next to him, a Prancing Sissy in a Ford F-150 (the "F" stands for "Loves to Fellate Dudes") is using his truck's "Man Step" to get out of the bed of his truck, in which he has tied down a comically oversized wooden birdfeeder. Sure, no person I know would ever think of the lumberyard as a perfect place to buy a birdfeeder, but that's because everyone I know hates birds and hopes they all starve to death. Especially ospreys.

While attempting to get down out of his truck, F-150 Man (who initially misses the step, since all men who aren't Howie Long are incapable of even walking without incident) moves in a manner that indicates he either has a hernia or has just had a week's worth of nonstop vigorous gay sex with a team of incredibly endowed male elephants. A few steps into his "lady penguin on her period" walk, Howie roguishly informs him that he's left his "uh, man step" down. The man then fixes this problem while facially throwing a bitch fit worthy of Bette Davis' or Joan Crawford's finest work.

All in all, the Chevy Silverado ad strategy is clear: trucks that have features that the Silverado doesn't are for clumsy homosexuals. Hence, if you buy those trucks, you are a clumsy homosexual. Lastly, the Chevrolet company hates homosexuals, and finds their lifestyle and mannerisms something worth spending millions of dollars mocking in a national ad campaign.

I can't imagine why American car companies are in trouble.

The 12 Ads of Christmas # 3 - Sweet Box Shakin'

by Katrocket from Rocketradio

On the third day of Christmas, FTA gives to you: Sweet Box Shakin'!

Okay, after a couple rounds of lingerie supermodels and dog ball-lickin', here's something just for the ladies! And also for my houseboy, Reynaldo.

This Joe Boxer/K-Mart was out a few years ago, but it's still one of my favourite holiday ads of all time. I can watch this all day and never tire of it (as long as I'm allowed a couple of diddle breaks.)



Every year I ask for Dick in a Box, but I always end up with movie passes and scented candles. Fuckers.