Tuesday, November 25, 2008

I Hate Applebees

by SO24 from Starting Over at 24

I can understand quirky and unique advertisements, because it makes sense to get their brand stuck in our head, but I fail to comprehend the logic behind getting on our nerves. It's not just a tad irritating, or overly goofy, it is just simply wrong. There is absolutely nothing creative or witty about two morons singing a shrimp-ized version of the Gilligan theme song. And who is giving this idea the thumbs up? Take a moment of your time to imagine the brainstorming session that produced this fucking wild idea.



"So...uhh...gotta come up with something good to play during the NCAA Tourney."
"Well, I was thinking two assholes playing guitars and singing the Gilligan theme song rewritten with lyrics about our shrimp skewers would be a huge hit. We could play it during every break and I really think it'll win 'em over."
"Good fucking call, Johnson"
"I'm also boning your wife."
"You're fired."

If I see this ad one more time I swear to god I will go their restaurant, order one shrimp skewer so that I can quickly eat the shrimp and then plunge the stick directly into the eye of the closest employee. On my escape I would also take care to knock off as much cliché memorabilia as possible.

So, if you are an Applebee's ad executive and happen to be reading this, I suggest you rethink your approach to drumming up business. Making people angry does not lead to success for your restaurant. Your food already sucks as it is, so it probably doesn't help much when you cram shit like this down our throats. Either show a follow-up to this piece that depicts these two schmucks getting ripped apart by tropical shark beasts, or put an end to the misery that any of us with decent taste are undoubtedly experiencing when we are subject to your bad ideas.

16 comments:

Egg said...

The winner in this category has to be the singing roadkill that Quizno's had a while back. Every time I saw that ad, I thought "What the f**k? Whose brilliant idea was this?" Singing rats+sandwiches does not = sales! Really, I just wanted some of the drugs that the execs were undoubtedly smoking when they agreed to this pitch.

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

Excellent post. Glad you worked in the NCAA tournament thing. Effing annoying, to say the least.

I love my basketball, but thanks to this commercial, every time I hear the balls hitting the hardwood, all I can think of doing is immolating the nearest Applebees. Coupled with the fact that the last time we ate there, a fat, old waitress hit on me non-stop in front of my wife and in-laws kind puts their shitty chain down on the list of places that I'll ever eat again.

BeckEye said...

'Tis my not-so-secret shame that I like Applebee's.

This commercial is dumb, but it's not the one that annoys me the most. I hate any of those with that Corey Feldman-looking Guy Whats-his-Nuts from the Food Network sitting down at a table, shoving his face in the camera, and telling everyone what they should order.

Wait...that might be Friday's. I think maybe Bobby Flay did some Applebee's commercials. Well, whatever, I hate both of those guys. But I have a soft spot for both restaurants, even if I can't really tell them apart.

Some Guy said...

Yeah, that's bad. Luckily this one hasn't been playing up by me. I don't get the logic in annoying commercials that run constantly. For me, it's the "Come and get your love" Alltel commercials. Alltel must die as far as I'm concerned.

red said...

I second (or third?) the seething rage playing a commercial every break can inspire. How that's meant to drum up more business is beyond me. Ad men are morons these days...unlike back in the 60's when they were uber-dreamy like Don Draper.

SouthernBelle said...

Hahaha so true SO24!

Don't forget their other stroke of marketing genius that is the wisecracking urban apple - "get it together bebeh!"

The Guv'ner said...

Dude, I want those guys dead with every bone in my body. And my liver agrees. And my intestines. And the shark-tearing commercial you propose, where do I sign up? URGH!

pistols at dawn said...

Here's the best thing Applebee's could do to get me to go there: change its name to "Ruth's Chris." I feel like I ate their "riblets" (read: rib cartilage) once a decade ago, and I still can't get the bad taste out of my mouth.

The Imaginary Reviewer said...

So, as a Brit, I have no experience of Applebees, Gilligan or NCAA basketball. But this ad really is annoying.

Dolce said...

Um...it must be a coast thing because in the midwest we don't eat shrimp (or at least Applebee's doesn't think so) we eat steak. I've never seen this commercial.

I don't eat neither...if it's being served at Applebee's.


Gross.

Chris said...

I don't mind Applebee's. It's just a block away, so Dagmar and I go there occasionally. Oh, not to eat, mind you. Oh heavens no! We just go there for the ambiance. It's just so homey...

I've seen this theme, two bozos singing, one with an upright bass, somewhere else. I don't remember where, but that commercial wasn't as eerie as this one.

And here in the Midwest we're pretty much convinced that shrimp is a myth. We get cow and chicken here.

Douchegirl said...

I can't think straight after watching this commercial. I freaking LOVE shrimp and they just kept showing it and showing it.

I kinda hate the song, but I would watch it on mute. Because I LOVE shrimp.

Oh, and I agree with whoever said they hated the "urban apple". It was damn annoying.

Snooze said...

I seriously don't get the end. Did he spit in her eye or is the shrimp supposed to be so juicy it flies all over? That would be gross. Or did someone squeeze lemon? Seems weird.

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

Snooze: I think the shrimp gave her a money shot.

Micgar said...

I was directed here Some Guys blog-funny stuff here! This dumb ad was probably the work of the same people who brought us those stupid Credit Report commercials.

Micgar said...

I was directed here Some Guys blog-funny stuff here! This dumb ad was probably the work of the same people who brought us those stupid Credit Report commercials.