by Katrocket of Rocketradio
Some of the greatest badvertising is created without any help from a budget-sucking, long-lunch-eating, golf-playing ad agency. The savvy local businessman knows his money is best spent on copious amounts of airtime, not overrated production values. Local merchants believe that their commercial doesn’t have to be good if it’s running on every regional network every 7 minutes. If you can’t wow your target market with a clever message and professional actors, why not simply bore your slogan into people’s heads with Pavlovian conditioning?
Depending on where you live, you have no doubt suffered through some of the most annoying and ridiculous commercials ever created in the history of advertising. But I’m not ashamed to admit that a part of me is rather amused by the combination of D-grade self-promotion and the quirky personality of the Hometown Vendor. In their own little way, they are stickin’ it to the big brand award-hungry agencies who have somehow convinced themselves that they are making fine art films instead of outrageous profits. In a cage match of Frequency versus Quality, I guarantee you will remember the name and slogan of your irritating local car dealer far better than you’re able to recall a specific car commercial and slogan from a global automaker. To me, all car commercials look exactly the same, but I’ll never forget a crazy dude in a used car lot wearing a Superman cape.
I’ve dug up some homemade gems from here and abroad - if you’d like to share your own hometown disasters, leave a comment with a link the the clip(if available).
Russell "Cashman" Oliver Jewellery - Toronto, Canada
Slogan: “I’m your Cash Man – give you money for your gold oh yeah!”
The Hook: Eurotrash clubmix penetrates your brain and won’t let go.
The Bait: Sexy backup dancers - Cashgirls by day, "feature dancer" by night
The Catch: This is probably the best produced Cashman ad in a large repertoire of cringe-worthy commercials
Sammy Stevens' Flea Market Montgomery - Montgomery, Alabama
Slogan: “It’s just like a mini mall!”
The Hook: Livin’ rooms, bedrooms, dinettes, we talkin’ bout a badass beat
The Bait: Colourful fashions, slick moves, and an attractive outdoor shot of the cube van fleet
The Catch: You need it! (He got it.) Hey hey.
Mel Farr Superstar Ford – Detroit, Michigan
Slogan: “Mel Farr Superstar for a Farr better deal”
The Hook: Someone’s crazy granny yelling “superstars!” at beginning of ad
The Bait: Tandem fly-by with co-star Billy Sims (Detroit Lions’ star RB from 1980-84) over Greenfield and 10 Mile Road
The Catch: Awesome editing turns a simple sideways hop into a stellar two-point landing.
Eagle Auto Insurance - Chicago, Illinois
Slogan: "I've got something for yoooooou!"
The Hook: Chicks with bad 80s hair are terrible drivers who can't be bothered with details like insurance... and not hitting stuff.
The Bait: Surprise! Sideshow eagle just laid a big one on your car.
The Catch: Messed up eagle-baby puppet delivers flyer, but instead of predictable flaily-armed screaming/running away, the ladies are hypnotized. Ooooh. Look at those low rates.
Prusakolep (roach traps, I thiink) - Warsaw, Poland
Slogan: "Pluskwy puszka metalowa ssać ono"(translation: "Bugs can suck it.")
The Hook: karaluch (cockroach) ruins dinner party/ people's lives/ any interest I might have had in visiting Poland
The Bait: Prusakolep!
The Catch: Someone was on drugs.
UPDATE: MORE HOMEGROWN CLIPS FROM OUR READERS!
Need A Lawyer? Can't afford a one? - submitted by Mme. G
Hilarious digital production company - submitted by Falwless
Something's fishy here - submitted by Skyler's Dad