Sunday, October 26, 2008

Never Buy a Product with "Sham" Right in the Name

by BeckEye from The Pop Eye

I believe someone mentioned the horrible "ShamWow" commercial in the comments here. I actually had been happily skipping through life never having seen it - until this weekend, when it must have assaulted my eyes and ears at least ten times. For those of you who haven't had the pleasure, get ready to be wowed. Or shammed.



I was certainly not "wowed" by this ad. First off, who the HELL is this "Vince" guy? Good Lord, he's one creepy bastard. Those pointy, Neanderthal brows and the overgrown fauxhawk? He looks like a damn Klingon! Who would buy anything from him? And why is he wearing that stupid headset? I'm assuming he's going for the "slick, cool dude" vibe here, so shouldn't he be wearing a Bluetooth or something? That thing looks like something Stacy, your Time-Life operator, would have worn in the early '80s.

And what company WANTS some coke-addicted, fast-talking douchebag as its spokesperson? Does anyone really think this guy is an effective salesman? Didn't we learn long ago not to trust guys like "Vince?" I don't know why I put his name in quotes, because he definitely looks like a Vince. I seriously doubt he's an actor. If he isn't a real estate broker or a used car salesman in real life, I'll eat my hat and buy 20 ShamWows.

If, for some reason, Crazy Brows McGee doesn't turn you off to this commercial, there is still plenty wrong with it.

1. As I mentioned in the title, the name of the product has the word "sham" in it. Sure, so does "shammy," but that's just because people can't spell. It's supposed to be "chamois."

2. Yeah, you can wash it in the washing machine. Still, is it cool to dry your dishes with the same disgusting rag that you use to wash your car and clean up your dog's urine?

3. One of the big selling points of the ShamWow is that it's made in Germany. What does that mean? The Germans made David Hasselhoff a star. What do they know? Furthermore, I don't think blind acceptance of any ideas pushed by the Germans is a very good idea. Read your history books.

4. Vince tells us you can cut the ShamWow in half and use one as a bath mat, drain your dishes with the other one, and use one as a towel. Now, I'm no math whiz, but that doesn't sound quite right.

5. Who spends $20 a month on paper towels? I'm a klutz who spills stuff all the time, and I can make it through at least a month with a $5.00 3-pack.

6. How long do those mini-ShamWows really last?? At 1:25, there is a very obvious over-dub stating that they last 10 years.

7. You get 8 ShamWows for $19.99. It thought this was a multi-purpose, washable miracle product that lasted forever? So, why do you need 8 of them?

If you can see past all that's horrible about this commercial and focus solely on the product, maybe you'll decide that you really need a ShamWow in your life. If you do, make sure you buy directly from Vince. BEWARE OF SHAMWOW IMITATORS! I mistakenly bought something called a ShamWhoa. It cleared out my bank account and skipped town, leaving a trail of cola behind it.

19 comments:

katrocket said...

hilarious! Vince reminds me of a carny - when he's not pushing the Sham-Wow, he's coaxing you to buy just 8 more balls to win a Def Leppard decorative mirror.

Dr Zibbs said...

I'm not kidding when I say that I want to try this product.

pistols at dawn said...

Well played, Ms. Eye.

I'm really unclear as to why he needed the headset - did the production team (read: dude with a camera) not have a lavalier or boom mic to record Vince's verbal gems?

The first thing that struck me about this ad was - "Ha ha ha, like anyone who buys crap like this owns an RV, a boat, a vehicle, or even dishes."

Secondly, saying "Germans always make good stuff" is already suspect, but then showing that German product half a second later being used as a bath mat for someone coming out of the shower makes the worst connotation ever. But from now on, when I think Germany and showers, I've got a second sham to think about. Thanks, ShamWow!

Some Guy said...

This was outstanding! Sham-Wow has got to be one of THE dumbest, lamest product names of all time. Jesus.

Falwless said...

Hahahaha.

ShamWow is awesome.

deadspot said...

If it sells itself, why are they paying Vince?

aliencg said...

The one thing I noticed is the use of creative editing. After he pours a full liter of cola into the carpeting notice that it seeps out onto the counter. He says he is going to do it in real-time, but the counter is dry around the carpeting. I just thought I would give you that to look for.

Mathdude said...

If it absorbs everything, how can you wash it in a washing machine? Wouldn't it just absorb the water?

Mathdude said...

"...if you order one in the next 20 minutes, cause I can't sell this at this price all day..."

Makes no sense. Why make the commercial then?

Candy's daily Dandy said...

Your funny. I loved the comment on Melo's blog. Hilarious.

Kristi Mantoni said...

The headset always bothered me but I am a sucker for these kinds of products. Anything that says it will make cleaning easier for me, I have to have it! I'm obsessive-compulsive when it comes to cleaning products and not actual cleaning.

Red said...

Vince looks like Willem Defoe on meth.

SouthernBelle said...

Hahaha, this post is fantastic! I hate ShamWow, but I never thought of the German angle before, hilarious!

AlienCG - There are indeed several noticeable edits in this commercial that make it come down on the Sham side rather than the Wow.

Also, who are these other people shilling the Shamwow? It really looks like they went to some dodgy local market and got random passersby, who'd most likely never heard of it before, to make shit up off the top of their heads.

Wolf said...

Yes, there's something about the name Vince. The only Vince I have known had the nickname "Sleazy V"... a charismatic twenty-something guy who was constantly trying to sleep with 17-year-old girls.

Red said...

No one will probably read this comment, but I was at a bar Friday night and the Shamwow commercial came on and at least 3 people were very excited about it.

Anonymous said...

This post is horrible, there is no critiquing of the actual product, but more of the informercial itself. Of course we know that if something is made in Germany it is not automatically quality. What kind of fucking moron do you have to be to believe this shit. Wow, you have shown me this product is a sham by informing me of the correct pronunciations, and the edgy usages of swear words.

katrocket said...

Dear Anonymous commenter,

This blog does NOT critique or review products. There are lots of other websites that will give you that sort of information.
Fire That Agency is a blog that specifically critiques COMMERCIALS and advertising. You would know that if you had bothered to read the header.

Try educating yourself before you write douchebag comments like this. Who's the fucking moron here, really?

Piss off.

BeckEye said...

Vince? Is that you?

Professor Chaos said...

didn't that guy get beat up by a hooker recently? Or something embarrassing like that.