Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Scent of a Woman

by The Guv from Psycho Secretary

There's an ad doing the rounds, currently, that has me simultaneously scratching my head and by pure suggestion my crotch (much in the same way that you hear someone mention spiders then start feeling them crawling on your skin). The ad's for "RePhresh" a new product that disguises "feminine odor". You might have seen it - four smug, skinny ladies sitting around in mood lighting declaring the advantages of spritzing one's muff with some Ph balanced deodorant? I would like to kill whoever, a) dreamed up the obnoxiously comical ad, and b) the douche (pardon the relevance) who decided such a product was necessary.



Apparently we ladies should be using this product after "intimacy", after "douching" and after our period, because otherwise we'll carry the stench of a million decaying haddock.

I don't know exactly what sort of woman this thing is aimed at. I mean, I've been around for quite a few years now and I can't say I've ever smelled a lady's pie as she walked by in the street, or sat opposite me in a bar. I've never once had to open a window because some female had a cooter that smelled like the county dump in July.

I mean it was obviously a man who came up with this product, right? I've never met a woman who gave a rat's ass about "feminine odor" because generally I find women like to bathe, unless their best friend is a freeze block and they live under a bridge someplace. I find that women who like to bathe, in general, don't have smelly hoodillies.

This product is just plain dumb. Everyone knows that a lady's special place is self-cleaning and that depositing strange cleaning products – be they special vagina-spritzing perfumes, deodorants or Lysol – is a bad idea. But way to play on a lady's insecurities by suggesting she might have a strange foreign smell in her pants that is shameful. Thanks a lot for trying to produce a nation full of anxious, self-hating women all spraying chemicals on their cookie just in case they have the dreaded "Stench of Woman".

The only thing dumber than the product is the ad. Cocky-looking, "we know something you don't" ladies in trendy soccer mom garb, dancing around proudly proclaiming their snatches smell like roses, while extreme close ups reveal their self-righteous smirks.

Screw you, ad guys. This ad makes me homicidal.

13 comments:

pistols at dawn said...

By and large, I agree - it's only when Jodie Foster walks by my cell that I can actually smell it.

Well, not only then. After some time spent semi-clothed in the presence of University of Vermont undergrads who take a liberal approach to everything except the amount of soap they apply to their bodies, I can say that there are women in the world who could use a little help from this product for their endangered wetlands.

Cap'n Ergo "XL" Jinglebollocks said...

Wait, does Palin endorse this product with the other soccer moms??

Poobomber said...

We all know vaginas are for storing rolls of quarters in, they're not for perfuming.

TommyMac71 said...

I'm not sure that ad is real. Sounds like a spoof, or at least a raw voiceover of another ad???

katrocket said...

TommyMac: Oh, the ad is real. The first video I posted was indeed a voiceover spoof, since we like to have fun on this blog. But in order to serve those who prefer their feminine hygiene ads unaltered, I've now posted the original ad.

The Guv'ner said...

The damn ad is on every five seconds it seems some nights. I particularly like the phallic looking chair arm one of the ladies is sitting on. No wonder she's smirking.

Bangs and a Bun said...

I hate it when I get that god damned unbalanced PH. Incidentally, what the fuck does that even mean? Because, apparently, all those smug bitches in the ad seem to know.

theideaofprogress said...

My favorite part is how they all seem to be saying, "Awwwwwww yeah." And they don't even have $240 worth of pudding.

sid said...

You're kidding me? They've made spray for you cookie? Dude this does make me paranoid.

Evil Genius said...

They should double there market and make "Wiener Wipes" for when a dude's schlong gets funky. This is a malady too long ignored. Why won't someone help me out with my smelly penis?

Anonymous said...

I would think that 99.9% do not need a spray, but, hey, for the ones that do ...

ÄsK AliCë said...

Well I know I smell like roses

*self-satisfied smirk*

Cynnie said...

I'm 48 and I've never used any feminine hygiene perfumey product ever..
and I can honestly say no one has ever puked over my twat :)