Mac Attack

by The Guvner from Psycho Secretary

You know what ads make me consider hostage taking? The ads featuring the Mac guy and the PC guy. I know they're old hat now but still, they piss me off to a nuclear extent with their holier than thou attitude and the condescending manner of a political campaign.

You know the ones, right? The ones where a young, slightly dorky "I am a computer genius in a way you'll never comprehend" type of guy stands there, smug in his knowledge that he's cool because hey, he uses a Mac, while the chubby, bespectacled, super-straight guy in a bad suit runs around like a constipated chicken with its head cut off trying to cover up the many deficiencies of using a PC, often while doing "hilariously" embarrassing things or wearing a stupid costume. Throughout all this mayhem the Mac guy condescendingly watches him, bemused, while smirking and looking sideways at the camera in a Jimmy Fallonesque manner that makes you want to punch his lights out with a sledgehammer.Sometimes he is accompanied by a supermodel or a hot techy chick because she's hot you know and hot chicks dig the Mac guys while guys who use PCs have to make do with a dude in a dress:



Well I hate those effing commercials. I resent their message. Everyone knows that Mac users are elitist knob-heads who like to lord over us mortal PC users with their superiority complexes. Mac users are next to Godliness, people. That's why they only make up a mere morsel of computer users. Nothing that lofty and supreme can be the majority. If the majority of computer users switched to Macs, Mac freaks would explode with indignant impatience and start proclaiming their love of Linux-only operating systems. There is nothing you can do on a Mac these days you can't do on a PC, except maybe gloat a lot about your Godlike superiority while hurling cyber darts at Bill Gates' head.

Funny thing is, I had nothing against Macs until these stupid ads appeared, so job well done, guys. You made me always want to buy a PC.

If Apple really wanted to raise their fanbase and appeal to a wider audience, maybe cutting out the smug, condescending attitude might be a start. And maybe they could you know... sort out iTunes so it didn't fuck up everything you try to do, ever if, heaven forbid, you change computers/programs/mp3 players. And maybe keep their iPods in a realm of reality where you don't need a magnifying glass to find them. They really don't need to be the size of a postage stamp, guys, truly, we eat our veggies, we can lift those bulldozer sized 1st Generation models just fine.