Saturday, January 17, 2009

But Is One Sheet Enough to Wipe Up This Mess of an Ad?

by Katrocket from Rocketradio

This commercial for Bounty Paper Towels makes me wanna choke this father and son:

Are you kidding me, family? Maybe instead of mathematically debating the surface area of the spill, you should just CLEAN THE DAMN THING UP. I mean, it's heading straight for the rug, you idiots! Oh, right, I forgot - maybe if you stand around with your hands on your knees and discuss your attack plan for the spill, a woman will eventually show up and do it for you. And check out how cheery she is about the whole thing. "Oh, no worries, la dee dah!" Yeah, right lady. I don't know any real moms who could restrain themselves from tearing this lot a new bunghole.

Aside from the overwhelming sexism of this ad, I also don't know any consumers who actually choose the "one sheeter" option. I know that when there's a cola tsunami threatening to stain my rugs, I rush in and take a big ol' spin off that roll like it was the Big Wheel Showcase Showdown on The Price is Right. Or better yet... I follow Vince's advice and use my ShamWow!

I propose that Proctor & Gamble should "Fire That Agency!", and hire this brilliant young man named Zach to produce all future television ads for their Bounty brand. I think he's hilarious:

And if Zach isn't available, maybe they need to reanimate that awesome diner dame, Rosie... she didn't take crap from Harry or any other Clumsy McSpillers on her watch:


SkylersDad said...

Great idea Kat, I love the kid looking at the camera all serious and shit!

Vegetable Assassin said...

I think that Bounty ad is one of my most teeth-grindingly hated ads. Every time it comes on we scream obscenities at it. "That's a fucking 12 sheeter, no way a square picks up all that crap!" was how it started but now it's become "how many sheets would it take to mop up the combined bloodloss of that father and son when I've greeted them with a machete?" STUPID.

pistols at dawn said...

I think that woman should follow Zach's advice and throw the Bounty at her soon-to-be ex, who can raise that damn spilling child on his own.

Also, the couple in the last ad is so excited about Bounty that they leave without eating or paying their tab. That's the real reason they listened for so long - because Rosie gets so excited about Bounty that she forgets to charge customers.