Friday, December 12, 2008

The 12 Ads of Christmas # 5 - Holiday Spirit Overload

by The Guv'ner from Psycho Secretary

On the fifth day of Christmas, FTA gives to you: Holiday Spirit Overload

You know what commercials would currently be chafing my balls, if I had balls? Those moronic Best Buy stupid-assed Christmas gift ads.

There are a whole series of them and each one is more annoying than the previous one. In fact, every "customer" (or as I like to call them "butt steaming ass bandits") who does their little over-excited, not at all cute piece for the Best Buy salesman, deserves my size 8, steel-toe capped boot planted right in their squishy bits with demonic fervor, for making me incensed with The Hate.

I mean watch these commercials and tell me you don't want those people skewered with a goddamn sling blade (some people call it a Kaiser blade, I call it a sling blade, mmm hmmm).

And people wonder why I grind my teeth.


Poobomber said...

They've been recycling the same bloody ad premise for like three years now. Damn, that makes me want to boycott buying iPods there even more!

What's this about you grinding your teeth? Put some seeds int here to take advantage of that. You can have a mouth full of flour the next morning if you do it right!

i am playing outside said...

i've been hating on these commercials for weeks now. AWFUL.

red said...

I hadn't seen these before and I thank God for that.

pistols at dawn said...

I assumed you ground your teeth to stop my continued requests for oral.

The thing I hate most about these ads - have you ever been to a Best Buy? There are no Best Buy employees to be found anywhere. If you have a question about a television set, or DVD player, or why you find yourself watching more and more gay porn, you could wait hours to years without ever seeing a blue-shirted person.

Every single one of their employees seems to be in the five-foot by five-foot cell phone section and by the door to greet you/make sure you're not stealing crap. Good business model.

Some Guy said...

Whenever I see commercials like these I wonder if there are people who see this sort of thing and bust out in fits of uncontrollable laughter. Then I thank Baby Jesus Santa that I don't know any of them.

Chris said...

I actually thought the ads were kind of funny. But probably not for the reasons the agency had in mind...

Best Buy has the worst customer service I've ever run into. Sadly it's the only place in Sioux City where you can buy some of this stuff, so you gotta just sorta roam around the store, looking in vain for a clerk to help you. And invariably when you do manage to track down a clerk (who will then have that "you're bothering me, customer, can't you see I'm way too busy texting my cousin's girlfriend to be wasting time with you" look on his face, that clerk will ALWAYS say, "I'm sorry, this isn't my department. I'll have to go find Fred. He'll help you." So now you're standing there staring at hard drives, waiting for Fred, not realizing that "Fred" is code for "no one in the store cares about your needs, peon, so you just stand there until you get tired of wasting your time and go home to buy what you need online which is what you should have done in the first place".

BeckEye said...

I was going to say exactly what Pistols said, except not as funny or long-winded.

Basically, what we're saying is that Best Buy employees are not a helpful lot.

The Guv'ner said...

You are all 100% correct, apart from Pistols and his oral fixation. Or not. Best Buy sucks, at least any I've been in have and I can't imagine anyone getting excited as hell to buy anything there.